Actual photo of Charity after her running a literal marathon.

by Charity Joy

I believe in the critical importance of connection. Of touch and love. Of “yes” and “no.” Of listening and speaking. Our brains are wired for connection and community. Deep within, we have a boundless capacity for love.

 I also believe in the critical importance of intimacy with the self. Of going inward and untangling. Of self-reflection and inner silence. Of communing with our innate Original Goodness. As the Buddha said, “O Nobly Born, do not forget the luminous nature of your own mind. Trust it. It is home.” May we all remember who we are. My own mind has not always felt “luminous” during these dark times. Yet when I return to my center, I find the essence of those noble qualities that I choose to believe lie within each one of us; loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. 

 I also believe in science. I believe in respecting one another’s risk tolerance. I believe in every human being’s right to make their own decisions, as the internal “risk versus reward” dilemma intensifies.

 During the last seven months, we have returned to the basics. Much of the periphery has been stripped away. I have had the privilege of connection and touch, but not everyone has. The pandemic has had disproportionately negative impacts on some in many different ways. In our touch communities, those who are medical professionals, those who are solo lovers, those who are immunocompromised, and those experiencing marginalization because of who they are have been disproportionately impacted by this marathon that nobody signed up for.

 Those who are essential workers have placed themselves in harm’s way daily, often having limited touch because their current and potential lovers are understandably fearful. Those who are performers have lost their livelihood and the critical elements of identity that come from co-creating with a live audience. Medical professionals and therapists are overwhelmed by the suffering that they take into their bodies every day as they hold space and strain to hold hope. Those who tirelessly work in the grocery stores, food production, service industries, and delivery have not stopped for a single day.

 Some of us have been less directly impacted, yet are still warding off despair at times. When we wake in panic or hopelessness, we do violence to ourselves by minimizing or denying it because others have it “worse.”  Depression soars. Substance abuse is on the rise. Those who have never considered suicide begin to wonder if they can make it to the end, whatever that “end” looks like. This race has an invisible finish line. We did not sign up for this. Some have lost their homes to the wildfires or had to evacuate. And now, as the leaves begin to turn colors, we must go back inside.

Friends and beloveds, let us continue to reach out to one another in love as the skies grow dark and the leaves fall. Since July we have greatly enjoyed having many of you to the Tree House for Wine Socials and the User Manual hybrid event. We have laughed, listened to music, sung, cried, and shared.

We at Empowered Pleasure will continue to put forth every effort to offer space for moments of connection and learning. We will continue following the science to the best of our ability to offer spaces for connection that meet our own risk/reward reasoning, knowing that ours may differ from yours.

Let us continue together to support community, love, and connection as we travel through these dark times. I invite those of us who are less impacted by the dark to share what we can.  Connection takes many forms. Let us co-create opportunities for new ways to build and strengthen community. Let us love fiercely, give openly, and hold however we can. Let us forge new pathways with those who are far and near.