Book Club: Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator

By Amy Gahran

Our second Monday Night Book Club focuses on one of Mel’s all-time favorite books on ENM and alternative relationship structures: Amy Gahran’s Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator.

We are taught in our culture that monogamy is the ideal. The goal is to find our one true love, get married, and sail off into the sunset together. A relationship is successful when when couples stay together forever, until ultimately one of them dies. Generally, there are a lot of other markers along the way as folx ride that escalator to monogamy including having kids, sharing finances, buying a house - you know the drill.

While monogamy is one option - and for some it is a perfect fit - there are as many different relationship designs as there are humans on the planet! Gahran’s book explores the variety of ways that people create and co-create their relationships along the spectrum (from monogamy to polyamory and everywhere in between and beyond). Her book explores true stories pulled from 1,500 interviews with people in a variety of different relationship structures.

Amy says: “Love is not one-size-fits-all. Yet often people assume that healthy, serious relationships all must follow the same basic path. The ‘Relationship Escalator’ is society’s bundle of customs for intimate relationships: monogamy, living together, marriage and more, ideally until death do you part. Beyond this, it might not be obvious what your options are.”

Each week we will discuss 2 chapters of the book and explore the questions for reflection and discussion. As is always the case in our workshops, share only what you would like to within the group. Consent is everything!

WEEK 1

Part 1: Welcome to the Relationship Escalator
Part 2: Beyond Couplehood: Nonexclusive Sex and Romance

WEEK 2:

Part 3: Preserving Autonomy
Part 4: Love, Rank and Fairness

WEEK 3

Part 5: Love Minus Sex or Romance
Part 6: Not Always and Forever

Following the the 3rd week, Any Gahran is scheduled to present for Empowered Pleasure. Meet the author and find out more about her work and ask any questions that have come up for you throughout the month.

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Schedule for all sessions

6:30 Social Connection Time

7:00 Introduction, Content, Breakout Rooms, Q&A

8:30 Close

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Visit the Empowered Pleasure MeetUp group for upcoming dates and to register.

If you are not a member of the Empowered Pleasure MeetUp group, make sure that you answer all of the questions when you apply!