OUR workshops

Ethical Non-Monogamy 101 (3 workshop series)

Both in-person and via zoom

Our Ethical Non-Monogamy workshops are designed to answer all your basic questions about ENM (with a focus on open relationships and polyamory) and to give you resources to understand and solve the most common problems that can arise. The three workshop series does not need to be taken sequentially, although sessions do build on one another.

ENM refers to any consensual relationship where more than two people are involved. It includes:
• Open relationship
• Polyamory
• Swinging
• Monogamish
• Relationship anarchy / Solo poly

Session 1: first questions

In his session we’ll cover:
• What is ENM?
• What makes non-monogamy ethical? Similarly, what makes it unethical?
• How is ENM different from cheating? Polyamory? Open relationship? Swinging?
• What are the pros and cons of ENM?
• How can I bring this topic up in my currently monogamous relationship?
• What feelings often arise if I express a desire to open up to my currently monogamous partner?
• Will ENM make my existing relationship better?
• How can I strengthen my current relationship to smooth any turbulence?
• How can I gain better self-awareness and internal self-regulation to make opening up easier?
• What do we say to our friends / family / children?

session 2: how to get started

This session is designed to give you the tools to move forward in your exploration of ENM. We’ll cover:
• How do I use Gottman techniques to create emotional honesty in my relationships?
• How do I find partners?
• What if my partner prefers someone of my gender? Of their own gender? Of any gender?
• What is “Unicorn hunting”, and why is it generally not ethical?
• How do I move from an initial “opening up” conversation to actually engaging in dating and/or sex with others?
• What is NRE and how does it affect ENM relationships?
• How do I handle one partner having much greater success in finding other lovers?
• What do I do when my partner is out on a date and I’m not?
• How do I deal with jealousy?
• Should I connect with other metamours? And how?
• What are agreements, boundaries, and rules?
• How can we ethically create them for ENM relationships?
• How much detail should we share about our dates with others?
• How can I create sustainable ENM relationships?
• What constitutes cheating in ENM relationships?

Session 3: Secrets to Long Term Success

Explore the longer-term issues that inevitably arise in ENM relationships so that:
1. You can more easily recognize them as they arise.
2. You’ll be in the best possible position to successfully resolve them.
We’ll cover:
• What are potentially problematic rules/agreements/boundaries?
• What are your rules/agreements/boundaries in 3somes, 4somes & Moresomes?
• Do agreements have to be equal for all involved?
• In hierarchical poly, should “secondaries” have a say in any agreements?
• How do we handle/share the expenses of ENM relationships?
• What is “faux poly”, and how can I spot the different ways it shows up?
• How can I best take care of my nesting or primary partner to avoid taking each other for granted?
• How do I use Gottman’s 7 Principles to handle difficult conversations and relationship building?
• What are highly precarious situations in ENM?
• What are the potential risks and rewards of diverse ENM styles and length of experience?

There will be multiple Breakouts to discuss the points above in smaller groups. All discussion is entirely consensual, and everyone will be reminded of the importance that anything shared here is confidential.

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Visit the Empowered Pleasure MeetUp group for upcoming dates and to register.

If you are not a member of the Empowered Pleasure MeetUp group, make sure that you answer all of the questions when you apply!